Once again, before I share my thoughts, I’d like to remind you all that this isn’t to make you feel sorry for us or us having a pity party. If you know me you know that pity parties are one of the things that irk me most. Don’t have one in front of me, I might slap you. For real, I might. Haha! 😉 We truly want this blog to be something our children can look back at & find encouragement from. We never want them to think that if you take a leap of faith & learn to trust God, for each day, your life will be in perfect harmony at all times. Sometimes our lives play a minor chord that seems lonely and dark, but looking back we realize that those minor chords are what give our life’s song beauty. We don’t want to play an entire song with those chords, but let’s recognize them & use them to enhance what is beautiful.
We have found ourselves in a place of disquiet for the past couple of weeks. Like it’s time for us to move on or something. We can’t place the reason for it. We’re having a blast being with David, Natalie, Sophie & Benson. There have been fun changes for the kiddos. Alex is now the oldest of 6 children. Jack has 2 more people to antagonize (he’s in heaven). 😉 Hmmmmm, maybe nothing has changed for Max, he still sits and draws or creates whenever he has free time. Bella is no longer the youngest. Sophie has 3 older brothers and a sister. Poor Benson now has 5 older siblings bossing him around. Ha! There’s occasionally squabbles between them all, but that’s life. I’d worry if they didn’t butt heads sometimes. Natalie is Mexican so Aaron & David have been having a great time exchanging stories about the “trials” of being married to a Mexican. Real funny guys. I’m sure it’s terribly trying to be married to such beautiful women. Lol! 😉 For not having been raised in a 100% Hispanic home, there is A LOT more hispanic characteristics in me than you’d think. Genetics are amazing.
So, why the disquiet? I don’t know. I don’t know & I don’t like it. I feel like a whiner. I hate feeling like a whiner. I talked with Aaron & he’s feeling it too so we decided to fast & pray. What does fasting do? What is the point? I don’t know that either. I do know that at one point since moving here I asked God those questions & I felt like he said, “Because I told you to.” WELL!! If that’s not a dad thing to say I don’t know what is! Being the good girl I am, (go ahead & interject your snorts of incredulity here) I obeyed. You know what? I really did feel a difference. I felt direction & peace. My situation didn’t change the way I thought it should but following the direction God gave me brought peace. We need that direction again & we’re not hearing or feeling anything so ~ a fasting we will go. You want to know another bothersome thing? God tells us to “sit still” A LOT. Who wants to sit still??? Ugh. Why do we have to sit still? Other people are doing all kinds of things and we’re sitting here being still? Bleh. See how no matter how old we get we’re still little kids? Can’t you hear a little kid saying something like that? We need to learn that sometimes God says “go” and sometimes he says “stay still” and both are right. I don’t think many people are ok with God saying to be still. That sounds lazy. But, if we’re always busy running and doing and are never still, more than likely we’ll miss many of the beautiful things that are in our path each day.
This time during our fasting and praying we felt that very thing, that we need to be more aware of the people and circumstances that come our way each day. Pay attention to each person. They might need us, but we also might need them. For most of our adult lives we’ve been so concerned with helping and blessing others that we’ve missed the very important fact that people also need to be able to bless and help us. There’s a special connection that happens when you’ve allowed yourself to be vulnerable and someone is able to help and bless you. It gives them a special spot in your life. They now have rights to a part of your life story. It not only helps you, it encourages the other person as well and gives them a sense of purpose and fulfillment.
The kiddos all received Valentines in the mail from their grandparents. Which, because they were from grandparents, had money in them. This has caused me to realize that I’m raising a bunch of foodies. The littles each spent half of their money on new games otherwise all money has been spent on food. Haha!! They’re so funny! Each time they’re ready to buy something I ask, “Really? You really want to spend your own special money on food?” The answer is always a resounding “YES!” Because they now have the power to use their money however they want, we found ourselves at McDonalds. Yep, McDonalds. What is it with that place!? None of us feel good after eating there but they continue to want it. Thankfully, we’re super mean & they usually only get it when they have their own money. Ha! 😉 We sat in a corner & ate this amazing food that makes you feel like your intestines are going to escape out your bellybutton. It’s quite the experience & it’s less than $5 a person. What a deal. I begin to clean up the wrappers and containers for the edible fireworks and asked the kiddos to go throw them away. As I show them where the garbage can is, I hear a little old voice say, “You have the most wonderful children.” I looked around to see who has such amazing offspring. Oh! It’s me! 😉 I walk over to talk to her because that’s what you do in the south. You don’t just smile & nod in acknowledgement. Words like that are the intro to a conversation and if you want to fit in, you join the conversation. She then told me she used to be a school teacher and always notices children’s behavior and that mine are very well behaved and kind. As we’re talking, her very friendly grandson pipes up and invites me to his birthday party “at Chuck e Cheese tomorrow at 2 o’clock”. Then let’s me know where he lives and if I look for his grandma’s car and his dad’s red truck, I’ll find his house. I tell them that we live off that road too but a few miles further down. Grandma asks where our kids go to school. I tell her where and that they’re at that school because we had been in that district originally, but are now living with friends while we look for another place to live. She says, “I’ll pray that you find that place” to which I, of course, say “thank you” with a smile. She completely freezes. I’m not being dramatic. She really did. She froze in place. Then she said, “You, are full of the Holy Spirit!!” Me~ “Yes, ma’am, I am.” Gma~ “Give me your hands. *gasp* Did you feel that? Did you feel that electric current?” Me smiling~ “Yes, ma’am.” She then proceeds to pray over me, in the middle of McDonalds. Literally, the middle. People are walking all around us. I don’t know what their reactions were. I closed my eyes. Haha!! I figured, well, if God wants her to pray for me here I’m going to go with it. I’d rather be someone’s dinner conversation because I was praying at McDonalds & not because I was a jerk. 🙂 She prayed over our house situation and blessed us and told me that God had sent me there that night so we could have an encounter with him. Then she went on her way with her grandson. Said she was going to go home and continue her talk with God because he wasn’t done yet.
I hope I run into her again. She’s quite the lady. I only know her first name. Patty. Patty, wherever you are, thank you for helping me to see the beauty in slowing down & engaging in the lives of people I encounter. No matter how large or small the amount of time is, I want it to be meaningful. Even if I never see Patty again, she has now become a part of my life song. It’s a very small part, but a meaningful and beautiful part. Maybe our disquiet is to open our eyes to the beauty others can bring to our life. I still don’t know. If you’re a praying person, please pray with us. We’re praying for you too. ❤