First off, I have to say I am thankful that I did not make “stop procrastinating” one of my New Year resolutions. I would have already failed miserably. This post was in my head to write for New Year’s Day, in keeping with all of the resolution madness. I’m going to console myself and say it must not have been meant to be shared until now. Ha!!
Something I have experienced, over the past couple of years, is that my knowledge has moved from being just in my mind, to being in my mind and my heart. There are things that I have known for a long time and when I would share them with people, it always felt forced. I was attempting to make the person think just like I did. The knowledge that has moved to my heart now pours out of me without grasping, without the need to prove a point, without having to be “right”; it has turned into a passion I can live.
The most common thing this happens with is my knowledge of Scripture. I will be reading along and, all of a sudden, a verse will pop out at me and come alive. Oh my word, sooo cliché, right? Well, I can’t help it. That’s what really happens. So, yes, yes it is cliché. I was reading a devotional about faith and Romans 10:17 was referenced; “So faith comes from hearing, and hearing through the word of Christ.” I’m not really sure what exactly I used to think this verse referred to, or how it was floating around in my head, but it was like someone came along and pounded their fist on top of my head and sent that scripture straight to my heart. I am at a spot in life where I’m desperate for more faith. I am always wondering if I have enough faith and if I don’t, how do I get more. Well…Voila!. Read the word of God. Seriously, how did I miss that?
This revelation has been freeing to me. For most of my adult life I have been reading the Bible to have answers for my beliefs. Sure, I wanted to know what God says in his word, but deep down I was wanting to have answers for when people ask me why I believe the way I do. I’ve stopped reading the Bible that way. I have begun to read it in order to know the God that said and did all the things that are in it. He did horrible, terrible, awful, wonderful, beautiful, amazing things and I want to know how he can be all of that. I want to know HIM.
This all has caused me to make 1 Corinthians 2:2, not a New Year’s resolution, but a life resolution; “For I decided to know nothing among you except Jesus Christ and him crucified.” I am going to read his word in order to know him better and as I seek to know him, my faith will naturally grow. The funny thing about all of this is that as I seek God, I will have the answers people need, because his Holy Spirit will be flowing out of me. The answers I have won’t be “one-size fits all” answers. They will be answers led of God to speak to the heart of the person I am interacting with at the time. The power of the gospel will be at work, instead of the knowledge of Jen. That is when hope is spoken into a person’s life and they are forever changed.